The call that actually happens
Calling family abroad is not a technology problem, it is a coordination problem. The app has to be the one they already have, the time has to suit the person with the least flexible day, and the call has to survive a connection that is not as good as yours. Everything else, including video quality, matters much less than people think.
Choose the app they already use
| Where the family is | What they almost certainly have | Second option |
|---|---|---|
| Europe, Latin America, much of Africa | Messenger or Telegram | |
| North America | Messenger or FaceTime on Apple devices | WhatsApp, increasingly |
| Japan, Thailand, Taiwan | LINE | |
| Korea | KakaoTalk | LINE |
| China | Little else works reliably | |
| Vietnam | Zalo | Messenger |
| A grandparent with one device | Whatever was set up for them | Do not change it |
The apps, and what each is actually for
The default in most of the world, with group video calls and a call button the recipient already recognises. Encrypted end to end for calls and messages.
Messenger. Where the North American half of a family usually is, and the easiest for someone who only has a Facebook account.
Google Meet. Calls by phone number or link, works in a browser at the other end, and tiny to install on a phone with no space.
The one to use when eleven relatives are on the call. Gallery view and a link that works on any device is exactly what a birthday needs.
Long in the tooth and still the app many older relatives have used for fifteen years. Do not take it off their phone.
Common across Eastern Europe and parts of Asia, with reliable calls over weak connections.
LINE. The default in Japan and Thailand, and the stickers are not a joke, they are how the family talks.
Built for low bandwidth video, which makes it the fallback when the connection at the other end will not carry anything else.
Zalo. The messaging app Vietnamese families are actually on, with good voice and video quality on local networks.
KakaoTalk. The same role in Korea, and it carries far more of daily life than a messenger usually does.
WeChat. If family are in mainland China, this is the practical option, with the usual caveats about what a platform sees.
Useful for large family groups and for sending photographs and video without the compression most messengers apply.
Signal. The choice when privacy is the point, and the one an older relative is least likely to already have.
Video messages rather than live calls, which solves a seven hour time difference better than any scheduling.
FamilyAlbum. A private shared album for grandparents, with no social feed attached. Often more welcome than another chat app.
A shared album that updates automatically is the quiet version of the same idea, and it works on almost any device.
A widget showing their time next to yours. Most missed calls are arithmetic errors, and this removes them.
For the part of the family who speak a different language, especially the conversation mode for two people on one phone.
Making the call survive a bad connection
- Turn the video off, keep the audio Every app degrades video first and audio last. A conversation without pictures beats a slideshow with them.
- Sit near the router, not in the far room Weak WiFi at your end looks exactly like a bad app, and moving two rooms fixes more calls than any setting.
- Use a smaller app on the weaker end The lighter, low bandwidth apps exist precisely for the connection at the other end.
- Prop the phone up and light the face A stand and a lamp improve the call more than a better camera does, particularly for someone lip reading.
- Agree a fallback before you need it If the video fails, call the phone number. Deciding that in advance saves ten minutes of both people redialling.
The weekly call that keeps happening
A standing time beats a spontaneous one, because the person with the least flexible day does not have to negotiate. Put it in both calendars in each person's own local time, and let the calendar do the time zone arithmetic rather than doing it in your head twice a year when the clocks change.
- A fixed weekly time in both calendars
- The app they already answer
- A stand, so hands are free
- Video messages for the weeks nobody is free
- Changing the app to a better one
- Relying on remembering the time difference
- Calling only when there is news
- A new account and password at their end
Use the app they already answer, put a standing time in both calendars, and drop the video before the call drops itself.
Frequently asked questions
Which app has the best video quality?
On a good connection they are close enough that it does not decide anything. On a poor one, the low bandwidth apps hold up better. Choose on what the other person already uses.
Do video calls cost anything?
They use mobile data rather than call minutes, so on WiFi they are effectively free. On a metered connection a long video call is a substantial amount of data, and turning video off cuts it sharply.
How do I call someone who only has an Apple device?
Any of the cross platform apps here work on both, or they can join a meeting link in a browser with nothing installed. Only the Apple specific call app is unavailable from Android.
What is the easiest setup for a grandparent?
One app, already signed in, with a shortcut to the person on the home screen, a loud ringtone, and a stand. Write the steps on paper once and leave it near the device.
Read next
A dot in the wrong city is not a broken receiver. It is a WiFi network that moved house.
There is no print button. There is a print service, and an entry in the share menu.
Aeroplane mode and a turn-based game will outlast any setting inside the game itself.
Read next
A search engine gives you a definition. A dictionary tells you how the word behaves.
A contraction timer is a stopwatch with good manners. It is not monitoring anything.
Every one of these apps is a location service with a chat attached. It is worth knowing what it is broadcasting.
